"Love Lifted Me"

I spent the summer of 2016 as the interim pastor of a church in the Bahamas. It was one of the most exhilarating and informative experiences I’ve had to date. One of the most memorable parts of the trip was not in the Bahamas, but in the ongoing conversations I had with my mother while there. 
 
Throughout the summer, Mom constantly told me how much she enjoyed our conversations. She was a very complementary person, so her positive affirmation did not stand out to me; however, her solemn tone did. “Kiya,” she began to say, “I am going to miss this so much.” Confused I would respond, “Miss what?” “Talking with you like this” she would respond. Thinking that she was referring to how busy I would be when I returned to seminary in the fall I would respond, “Oh Mommy, you know I always make time for you. Besides, I always call after my study groups and if I ever miss your call I always call back. It will be fine.” Yet she would always respond so solemnly, “I will miss this.”
 
In our conversations over the summer, Mom provided much insight and reiterated her love for our family. She would say, “Kiya, I love you so much” to which I would always say “Love you more” to which she would respond, “But you don’t know how much I love you.” I smile as I remember the declarations of our “love.”
 
 My mother lived for love. She adored the song “Love lifted me” as she used the phrase to reference times when she had to take the “high road” in tough situations; times when the enemy tried to bring her down and God’s love brought her out. Over the summer she started using this phrase more and more victoriously as she would declare, “Kiya, love lifted me!” 
 
To this day I am still comforted by my mother’s love. On days when I cry inconsolably, I hear her singing to me (“Momma’s baby feel betta; Momma’s baby feel betta, betta”) ; on days when I feel confused, I hear her wisdom; and on days when I want to give up, I feel her loving embrace. Song of Solomon 8:6 says that love is as strong as death and despite the numerous commentaries and concordances I’ve studied, this scripture has never held the weight it does now as as I continue to feel Mom’s love so present in my life.
 
In the months following Mom’s death, I’ve found myself speechless at how a God who loves me so much, could take the one person in the world who I love the most. The one thing that satisfies my deep inquiry is the realization that although I love my mommy, God loves her more. It was God’s love that lifted my mommy five months ago and it is God's love that is keeping me five months later.  Happy Birthday Mommy (1/17/50-8/17/16).